I love you's
by wrecked
Summary: Oneshot Kayane ponders over her relationship with Balmung and why there even is one in the first place.


Author: Light With A Sharpened Edge

Title: 'I love you's'

Fandom: .Hack/Twilight

Disclaimer: I don't own .Hack/twilight, never will and have no intention of leading a crusade to try to own them. That's too much money and too much effort. However, I do like to manipulate the characters to do my bidding because it amuses me and countless others. This is the only disclaimer you will see in this fic. That is all.

Rating: teen

Pairing: Figure it out.

Takes-Place:Whenever

Summary: Kayane ponders her relationship with Balmung and why there is a relationship to begin with.

* * *

With Balmung, there are no 'I love you's' nearly every moment I return from being in a separate room as him. No 'I love you's' much at all.

Sometimes, I don't know why I care or or why I am even a relationship with him.

With Balmung there are no endearing words or nicknames like honey, baby, sweetheart, kitten or cupcake. He prefers to call me by own name although, occasionally I would like it to hear him say something of the sort lovingly. I sometimes wish for a bit more normalcy in our relationship but I tend to treat him the same. A few times, though, the name 'sunshine' passes by my lips before I have the chance to stop them but it isn't as much as a loving nickname as it is a reminder of what I called him not so kindly a while back.

There is no holding hands in public to show off we're together unless we're with complete and trustworthy friends. No parading me around like a trophy and he doesn't try to buy me with jewelry, though I don't doubt he could I with an occasional choker or earrings.

With Balmung, there are no fancy dinners at italian resturants with bands playing lulling music while staring at each other over spaghetti and candles. He hates the spaghetti and the music is like a cat yowling in my ear.

No bragging arguments with his friends over who has the better woman at his side and there are no stories about how great I am that he so proudly tells to prove he is more fortunate. He says that the only person who needs to know that is me. I believe and love him for that.

On my birth-day or Valentine's, there are no flowers or boxed chocolates because he thinks its a simple ploy to make people spend more money. That giving someone flowers that will die in a matter of days is pointless and that I buy enough chocolate every day, what difference is it whether he buys me more? He spends the day with me no matter what, and that is his gift to me.

There are no love-making sessions every night in bed, laying on red silk sheets. No breakfast in bed ready when I wake up the morning after and no whispered words of love in my ear either. No pillow fights that leave us laughing in each others arms and things leading to another.

With Balmung, you can't really tell what keeps me with him or him with me. I'm not spoiled and he isn't whipped. There are no embarassing dinners with parents because I hate my mother, my father is always working and his parents are far too busy and far away. So we just go to a random place for dinner. He doesn't ask what I'm going to order and neither do I.

He doesn't try to please me with every chance and every whim and I don't try to hack money off of him. Personally, I can't imagine myself doing that.

I sometimes watch my friends with thier boyfriends and wonder what's wrong with them, though their lovers don't seem to mind the attention at all. I think they like showing off how much they can provide their partners with.

So what is wrong with me and Balmung? What is the point of our _abnormal _relationship?

I don't know what the point is and to be honest, I don't really care.

You can be in love without all the sap, and without all the crap. As untrue and lame as that sounds, it's true.

And I am happy.

I don't need to be treated like the princess girlfriend and I don't need Balmung to be the perfect-good-boy or the unpredictable-bad-boy. I love him simply the way he is.

Even if he never calls me love or toots or dove (and I'd be slightly scared if he did) he still manages to show he loves me. Whether its the way his mouth sort of tips into a smile or the way his fingers brush any part of me as he walks by.

Even if he never puts on light and lilting music in our room with flowers or takes me out to expensive italian resturants, he still keeps me hooked by the way he knows exactly what my mood is and reacts accordingly. Whether I'm in a bubbly, yet quiet and daring mood, ready for some action, or I'm tense and angry and in need of comfort.

He puts up with my long moments of silence and my failing and loud attempts to stop our cat from yowling at every movement one of us makes. He also puts up with my temper which has been directed toward him in more than one occasion. Unlike most other couples, we don't fight just to make up again, we fight because there are just some problems we have to solve. If we end up sprawled on the bed hours later, though, I'm not one to complain.

When I have one of my rare breakdowns where playing the unfazed-don'tcare-sarcastic person just pushes me too far, he's the one I tell - or should I say scream and cry at. And he takes it all without a comment or fight, and holding me when I've spent all my energy and placing my in bed, more often than not just lying there with me and not letting go.

With Balmung, every look, gesture, as small as it may be, and every sounds means something.

While I have yet to understand them all, I am not bored in anyway. Its a hobby, finding and understanding him more. And I am happy with doing so.

So we're not perfect.

Who the hell cares?

Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. And when I am the beholder, I say Balmung is what makes me perfect and somewhere deep inside of me, I know I am what makes Balmung perfect too.

Sappy, right?

Well, of course, what else would it be?

With Balmung there are no 'I love you's'.

Although, I do hear a whispered _ai shiteru_ on his lips, more often than not, when he thinks I don't hear as we are both drifting to sleep at night.

* * *

I was in the mood for a one-shot.

Deal with it.

**--Edge**


End file.
